








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 819 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




136 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10202 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8558 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8474 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9606 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,991,499 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gong Gong | 49% | 163 |
| #2 | Chalk | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | tony | 47% | 179 |
| #4 | Mr. No-head | 44% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gong Gong | 49% | 163 |
| #2 | Chalk | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | tony | 47% | 179 |
| #4 | Mr. No-head | 44% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 31 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Mr. No-head | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 751 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mr. No-head | 345 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gong Gong | 339 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Chalk | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | +1.02 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | Mr. No-head | +0.61 | 41 | 59 |
| #3 | Potato Ninjas | Joey | +0.25 | 53 | 67 |
| #4 | Gong Gong | -0.07 | 45 | 54 |
| #5 | Chalk | -2.27 | 37 | 41 |





