








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1956 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1951 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4069 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2873 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,931,469 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Potato Ninjas | Joey | 48% | 69 |
| #9 | Junior | 48% | 216 |
| #10 | SpiriX | 45% | 47 |
| #11 | Broc | 39% | 38 |
| #12 | Potato Ninjas | Roy ✰ | 38% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gong Gong | 839 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Junior | 368 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Potato Ninjas | Joey | 200 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | UllÆ | 137 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | NooRespect | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |





