








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 393 matches | ||
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3099 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4464 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3834 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5038 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,237,156 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 49% | 207 |
| #2 | Darren1379 | 49% | 138 |
| #3 | Bob | 47% | 216 |
| #4 | Halooooooooooooooow | 47% | 236 |
| #5 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | 46% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Halooooooooooooooow | 47% | 236 |
| #5 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | 46% | 133 |
| #6 | narrow head | 45% | 53 |
| #7 | Tom | 45% | 58 |
| #8 | railz | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Ben | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Halooooooooooooooow | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | railz | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 373 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Gecon (General Shiro Ishii) | 266 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Halooooooooooooooow | 250 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tom | 195 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Darren1379 | 182 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | +2.53 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | Tom | +1.69 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | narrow head | +1.13 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | Morby | +0.90 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Ben | +0.43 | 66 | 24 |





