








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2830 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2297 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2259 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,272 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sp1r1d0n | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | maddy <3 | 67% | 76 |
| #3 | newhope | 67% | 51 |
| #4 | ¡︎ 5-Staar ™ | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | BlaZe csgobig.com | 59% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ¡︎ 5-Staar ™ | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | BlaZe csgobig.com | 59% | 44 |
| #6 | Piew | 58% | 106 |
| #7 | Valtub | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | elmu | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maddy <3 | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ¡︎ 5-Staar ™ | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | newhope | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Piew | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | BlaZe csgobig.com | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piew | 488 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | BlaZe csgobig.com | 218 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | maddy <3 | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sp1r1d0n | 207 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | ¡︎ 5-Staar ™ | 133 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maddy <3 | +2.71 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Piew | +2.38 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | Frosty | +1.96 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | ¡︎ 5-Staar ™ | +1.95 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | Valtub | +0.52 | 61 | 51 |





