








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6177 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5102 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2116 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4390 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,326,134 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zulos | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | cucumber pee | 52% | 159 |
| #3 | Teemo | 51% | 367 |
| #4 | fries | 51% | 163 |
| #5 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| 50% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B o B | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Teemo | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | fries | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | 30ishMeister | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| 8 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teemo | 1203 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | cucumber pee | 925 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #3 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| 624 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | 30ishMeister | 436 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | B o B | 433 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fries | +3.55 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | cucumber pee | +2.96 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | ā
l Fall3n lā
| +1.69 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Zulos | +1.31 | 66 | 45 |
| #5 | Luminonffy | +0.89 | 75 | 55 |





