








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 26% |
| Smokes | 989 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2075 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2270 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,147 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexie | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | devvolve | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | bluu44 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | sirris | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexie | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | devvolve | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | bluu44 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | sirris | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | bluu44 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | sirris | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | devvolve | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Dexie | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu44 | 149 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Dexie | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | devvolve | 112 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | sirris | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mag-7 | +5.22 | 96 | 45 |
| #2 | sirris | +0.58 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | Dexie | +0.58 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | devvolve | -0.39 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | -1.69 | 60 | 53 |





