








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4038 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4278 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3274 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2727 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,294,082 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devvolve | 54% | 133 |
| #2 | cabo | 53% | 92 |
| #3 | Spieg | 51% | 113 |
| #4 | Barbados Slim | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 49% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devvolve | 54% | 133 |
| #2 | cabo | 53% | 92 |
| #3 | Spieg | 51% | 113 |
| #4 | Barbados Slim | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 49% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 29 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | devvolve | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Barbados Slim | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | cabo | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Spieg | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devvolve | 403 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Spieg | 378 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 357 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | cabo | 310 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Barbados Slim | 136 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sirris | +3.34 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | devvolve | -0.14 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | cabo | -0.98 | 65 | 64 |
| #4 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | -1.15 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Spieg | -1.97 | 65 | 58 |





