








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 555 | 22% |
| Smokes | 619 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 785 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,732 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 3" is average | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Dr. Fortnite | 57% | 61 |
| #5 | Ranch | 51% | 72 |
| #6 | Sam Staunton VA 24401 | 47% | 78 |
| #7 | Evyst | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ranch | 16 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Dr. Fortnite | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Sam Staunton VA 24401 | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | 3" is average | 3 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | Evyst | 2 | 0.0017 |





