








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 866 | 35% |
| Smokes | 580 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $62,172 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =:) | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | jepse | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Peter Mygind | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | :( | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Dølle Ministeren Davai Davai | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | chinooojaxxx | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Jobbe | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | hagels | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | KEV | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | frederik :) | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Mygind | 2 | 0.0345 |
| #2 | chinooojaxxx | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jepse | 53 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | KEV | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | hagels | 21 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Batman Capybara | 20 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | :( | 19 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Mygind | +4.32 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | =:) | +2.64 | 75 | 76 |
| #3 | chinooojaxxx | +2.11 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | jepse | +1.54 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | adam | +1.53 | 79 | 70 |





