








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 749 | 25% |
| Smokes | 717 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 801 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,960 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | G8sen | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | frederik :) | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | TheIndependentVariable | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | major | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | adam | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jobbe | +1.94 | 94 | 67 |
| #2 | TheIndependentVariable | +1.44 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | adam | +1.08 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | ラッセバク | +0.58 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | hagels | +0.42 | 83 | 74 |





