








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1031 | 35% |
| Smokes | 743 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 594 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,246 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aurora☔ | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Peter Mygind | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Dølle Ministeren Davai Davai | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Huncho Jack | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | jepse | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Batman Capybara | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Peter Mygind | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | :( | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Mygind | 97 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | :( | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | adam | 57 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | Huncho Jack | 55 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Batman Capybara | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Mygind | +4.82 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | chinooojaxxx | +3.67 | 84 | 71 |
| #3 | jepse | +2.57 | 60 | 72 |
| #4 | =:) | +2.05 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | Dølle Ministeren Davai Davai | +1.99 | 67 | 57 |





