








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 187 | 53% |
| Smokes | 125 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 13 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 29 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,667 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mastercow | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Daggerscythe | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | The Nolster | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | PercyJ2013 | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | jeff yost3 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | The Nolster | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | PercyJ2013 | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | jeff yost3 | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Owen | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | donwersa | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Nolster | 5 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Mastercow | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Nolster | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mastercow | 43 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | PercyJ2013 | 22 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #4 | Owen | 14 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | donwersa | 10 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Nolster | +4.41 | 71 | 38 |
| #2 | PercyJ2013 | +4.33 | 78 | 23 |
| #3 | Owen | +1.42 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | Mastercow | -1.92 | 10 | 41 |
| #5 | donwersa | -2.01 | 32 | 49 |





