








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2273 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5857 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2323 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3674 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,302,092 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 799 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemmespitonit | 55% | 62 |
| #2 | jermaineyung666 | 53% | 163 |
| #3 | BLoo | 51% | 215 |
| #4 | wavian_ | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | BillCam | 47% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jermaineyung666 | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | BillCam | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | BLoo | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | lemmespitonit | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | wavian_ | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLoo | 560 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | jermaineyung666 | 555 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | BillCam | 279 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | lemmespitonit | 141 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | wavian_ | 106 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemmespitonit | +7.03 | 77 | 43 |
| #2 | The Nolster | +2.68 | 56 | 49 |
| #3 | BLoo | +2.11 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | wavian_ | +2.09 | 54 | 36 |
| #5 | jermaineyung666 | +1.02 | 44 | 49 |





