








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1340 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1242 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1313 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $227,376 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BURGER KING CROWN GUY | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Akka44 | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | E46 | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Yoru | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | Rilind l' tunis | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Akka44 | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | E46 | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Yoru | 55% | 117 |
| #5 | Rilind l' tunis | 51% | 84 |
| #6 | Saddam Hussein | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rilind l' tunis | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Yoru | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Saddam Hussein | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | E46 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | BURGER KING CROWN GUY | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoru | 368 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Rilind l' tunis | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Akka44 | 87 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | E46 | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Saddam Hussein | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akka44 | +1.10 | 57 | 48 |
| #2 | Yoru | +0.64 | 38 | 66 |
| #3 | NoRiiZi | +0.42 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | Rilind l' tunis | +0.26 | 35 | 61 |
| #5 | E46 | -0.53 | 37 | 38 |





