








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 938 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1098 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,155 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1031 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingDoof1324 | 64% | 118 |
| #2 | Condos | 62% | 107 |
| #3 | Juveys | 61% | 83 |
| #4 | Fictional Name | 56% | 196 |
| #5 | Franci$ | 55% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fictional Name | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | KingDoof1324 | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Condos | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Juveys | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Franci$ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fictional Name | 411 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Juveys | 151 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Condos | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | KingDoof1324 | 58 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | i'm okay lmfao | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |





