








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4827 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2736 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3577 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2082 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,184,616 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingDoof1324 | 60% | 293 |
| #2 | Condos | 59% | 198 |
| #3 | Juveys | 57% | 183 |
| #4 | Max | 56% | 196 |
| #5 | Franci$ | 49% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Juveys | 57% | 183 |
| #4 | Max | 56% | 196 |
| #5 | Franci$ | 49% | 144 |
| #6 | i'm okay lmfao | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | TeamSpeakUser Evan | 37% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | KingDoof1324 | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Condos | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Juveys | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Franci$ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juveys | 356 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Max | 282 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Condos | 131 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | KingDoof1324 | 113 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | i'm okay lmfao | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +4.03 | 68 | 38 |
| #2 | Condos | +2.42 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | Fictional Name | +1.32 | 38 | 62 |
| #4 | i'm okay lmfao | +0.19 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | Juveys | -0.33 | 53 | 53 |





