








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2353 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3635 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2287 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,219,811 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | YoungStrokerTheBodySnatcher | 50% | 121 |
| #7 | Franci$ | 48% | 69 |
| #8 | it comes with an egg roll | 47% | 140 |
| #9 | i'm okay lmfao | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | TeamSpeakUser Evan | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fictional Name | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | KingDoof1324 | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Condos | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | YoungStrokerTheBodySnatcher | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Max | 7 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fictional Name | 384 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | it comes with an egg roll | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Max | 130 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | YoungStrokerTheBodySnatcher | 124 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Condos | 95 | 0.04 | 2 min |





