








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3141 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2580 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3309 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2303 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,581 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sillycheese | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | matt | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | Jawn Pork | 43% | 119 |
| #4 | Nolssy | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sillycheese | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | matt | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | Jawn Pork | 43% | 119 |
| #4 | Nolssy | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawn Pork | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | matt | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Nolssy | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawn Pork | 439 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | matt | 189 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sillycheese | 65 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nolssy | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matt | +0.91 | 50 | 61 |
| #2 | buhday | -0.00 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | Jawn Pork | -1.12 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | Sillycheese | -2.24 | 30 | 45 |
| #5 | Nolssy | -2.96 | 44 | 36 |





