








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1407 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4193 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2350 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,717,466 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majorfuzzels | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | RagnorRoc | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Gopnik Possum | 55% | 56 |
| #4 | laggyb0i | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | theFool | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | theFool | 47% | 59 |
| #6 | DeltaWhiskey | 47% | 91 |
| #7 | Make Silver II Great Again | 46% | 239 |
| #8 | Gouged | 44% | 64 |
| #9 | Chuchkles | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Make Silver II Great Again | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | DeltaWhiskey | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Gouged | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | theFool | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | laggyb0i | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Make Silver II Great Again | 786 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | DeltaWhiskey | 202 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gouged | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gopnik Possum | 153 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Majorfuzzels | 102 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majorfuzzels | +7.23 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Gouged | +1.98 | 49 | 61 |
| #3 | BirdMAN- | -0.09 | 37 | 51 |
| #4 | laggyb0i | -0.53 | 46 | 49 |
| #5 | DeltaWhiskey | -0.77 | 50 | 62 |





