








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2226 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5088 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3434 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2925 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,666,382 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danksy | 50% | 82 |
| #2 | sḏm.f | 48% | 84 |
| #3 | Nathaniel Peeketh III | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Sedjem | 47% | 237 |
| #5 | Raek | 46% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | 30 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | LnD[.] Muka | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | sḏm.f | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Raek | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Slick | 7 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | 935 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | DVY | 353 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | sḏm.f | 308 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Raek | 244 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Danksy | 203 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sḏm.f | +2.06 | 59 | 62 |
| #2 | Sedjem | +1.91 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | DVY | +1.12 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | Raek | +0.33 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Danksy | -0.32 | 81 | 52 |





