








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1054 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1027 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10282 | 27% |
| Smokes | 13691 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 6064 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7850 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,004,055 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 865 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | 52% | 202 |
| #2 | DVY | 51% | 158 |
| #3 | Stealthy | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | randy bobandy | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | LnD[.] Muka | 47% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | 52% | 202 |
| #2 | DVY | 51% | 158 |
| #3 | Stealthy | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | randy bobandy | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | LnD[.] Muka | 47% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | randy bobandy | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | DVY | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | LnD[.] Muka | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Stealthy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | 791 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | DVY | 416 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Stealthy | 165 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | LnD[.] Muka | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | randy bobandy | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sedjem | +2.17 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | Danksy | +0.82 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | DVY | +0.34 | 59 | 74 |
| #4 | Stealthy | +0.14 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | randy bobandy | -1.19 | 46 | 49 |





