








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3885 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4454 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4924 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2229 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,328 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathaniel Peeketh III | 52% | 126 |
| #2 | Slick | 48% | 350 |
| #3 | truffIes | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | randy bobandy | 46% | 85 |
| #5 | DVY | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slick | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | sḏm.f | 8 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Nathaniel Peeketh III | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Sedjem | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | randy bobandy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slick | 399 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sedjem | 273 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nathaniel Peeketh III | 190 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | sḏm.f | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | randy bobandy | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sḏm.f | +1.55 | 56 | 66 |
| #2 | Sedjem | +1.52 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | Raek | +1.10 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | DVY | +0.76 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | truffIes | -0.25 | 65 | 72 |





