








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2696 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1958 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1931 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,654,730 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪LazyTannerMan≧◡≦ | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | TheShroom | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | BeanNess | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | AIZEN | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Snw | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qu4thy | 7 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | T-Goose | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | TheShroom | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | IndigoMuskrat | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | klay | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Goose | 282 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Radiantt | 271 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | KYY | 162 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Brutal | 128 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | AIZEN | 124 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J4kenator | +4.30 | 91 | 45 |
| #2 | romeo | +3.07 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | ✪LazyTannerMan≧◡≦ | +2.96 | 41 | 58 |
| #4 | AIZEN | +2.92 | 82 | 74 |
| #5 | KYY | +1.83 | 62 | 73 |





