








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3059 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3213 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1512 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2359 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,285 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radiantt | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Slippery Joe | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Mario | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | CnKRevenge | 51% | 75 |
| #5 | Brutal | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slippery Joe | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | IndigoMuskrat | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | CnKRevenge | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slippery Joe | 262 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | CnKRevenge | 231 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mario | 145 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Brutal | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Radiantt | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slippery Joe | +2.77 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | CnKRevenge | +1.60 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | IndigoMuskrat | +0.56 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | Mario | +0.04 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | Brutal | -0.54 | 50 | 54 |





