








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2213 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2256 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1762 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,658 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luka♚ | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | cAAth 🌙 🐈 | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Rúben | 52% | 88 |
| #4 | ti fakeeess | 52% | 111 |
| #5 | MJ.R!t0!! | 51% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MJ.R!t0!! | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | yNn4d_F1 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Montanelas ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Rúben | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ti fakeeess | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ti fakeeess | 434 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | yNn4d_F1 | 394 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #3 | Rúben | 361 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | MJ.R!t0!! | 282 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | M[z]k. | 241 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MJ.R!t0!! | +1.61 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | ti fakeeess | +1.55 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | brunofap | +1.00 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | Avô Cantigas | +0.48 | 53 | 78 |
| #5 | yNn4d_F1 | +0.02 | 53 | 71 |





