








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 512 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 275 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7565 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6488 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6978 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4243 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,856,520 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Habanero | 52% | 84 |
| #2 | ⋨SIGVEZ⋩ | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | AWOKEcat | 50% | 292 |
| #4 | Ando☞♔ | 50% | 307 |
| #5 | Adde | 48% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adde | 25 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Ando☞♔ | 20 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ⋨SIGVEZ⋩ | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | AWOKEcat | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | JJ | 8 | 0.0085 |





