








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4203 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2591 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2263 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2545 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,369 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ka1zer | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Java | 50% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ka1zer | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Java | 50% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | OliChappa ❤ | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Java | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Java | 388 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 341 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | 103 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ka1zer | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarasenko | +1.79 | 81 | 79 |
| #2 | Java | +1.76 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | -0.61 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | Ka1zer | -0.96 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | -1.48 | 60 | 57 |





