








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1534 | 26% |
| Smokes | 946 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2243 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1289 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,911 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | aatu | 34% | 29 |
| #16 | MoTzis | 33% | 12 |
| #17 | laiser | 33% | 43 |
| #18 | Oowerpoower | 30% | 23 |
| #19 | BoomeR | 8% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ounager8d | 9 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | スブラ | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Smokey | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | teho | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | metamika | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aatu | 179 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | ounager8d | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Smokey | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | スブラ | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ساپتی | 74 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | +6.10 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | ounager8d | +4.28 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | jdc | +3.70 | 90 | 56 |
| #4 | スブラ | +3.49 | 90 | 55 |
| #5 | Smokey | +2.78 | 91 | 64 |





