








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2677 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3699 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5410 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3877 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,572,171 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 2Smoaks | 54% | 192 |
| #5 | Mr. Pibb | 53% | 68 |
| #6 | Navraj | 41% | 85 |
| #7 | Timbo | 40% | 43 |
| #8 | Paveicle | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Smoaks | 591 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Navraj | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr. Pibb | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Paveicle | 138 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | zynder | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2Smoaks | +3.95 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | Navraj | +0.75 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | $lick $loth | +0.57 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Timbo | +0.22 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | Paveicle | -0.34 | 63 | 57 |





