








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1387 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1544 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 996 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,670 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | borqee | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | McDaddyCringe | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | skippy | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | BodaciousBoda | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Saulery ☮ | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippy | 344 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Saulery ☮ | 211 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Paveicle | 189 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | 2Smoaks | 170 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | McDaddyCringe | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prime | +2.45 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Timbo | +1.66 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | skippy | +1.61 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Saulery ☮ | +1.29 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | 2Smoaks | +0.48 | 67 | 64 |





