








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1620 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1797 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1054 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,383 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frifroome | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | gaLdNt | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | laj0ke | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | Raysuss | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | ShiMiz | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | laj0ke | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | Raysuss | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | ShiMiz | 31% | 16 |
| #6 | Wetek | 31% | 13 |
| #7 | Juicy | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaLdNt | 8 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | Frifroome | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Juicy | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | laj0ke | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ShiMiz | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juicy | 133 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | laj0ke | 73 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | gaLdNt | 67 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | ShiMiz | 64 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wetek | 54 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaLdNt | +4.18 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Walouf | +1.51 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Wetek | +1.18 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | ShiMiz | +0.30 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | Frifroome | -0.17 | 71 | 65 |





