








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1325 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1101 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $393,668 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rikast | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Ragnarok | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Darkskyman | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Abacool | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | laj0ke | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | laj0ke | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | Juicy | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Walouf | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | ShiMiz | 25% | 8 |
| #9 | mGx^x | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laj0ke | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Darkskyman | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ShiMiz | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laj0ke | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Darkskyman | 115 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | rikast | 84 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | Walouf | 55 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | mGx^x | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abacool | +1.68 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | ShiMiz | +0.81 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | Wetek | +0.74 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | rikast | +0.71 | 53 | 64 |
| #5 | Walouf | +0.52 | 87 | 61 |





