








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 738 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1052 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1089 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,839 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UrFlyin | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | PlatonicG00N | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | bmeow | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Girthquake | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Gurkha | 50% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bmeow | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Girthquake | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Gurkha | 50% | 94 |
| #6 | JakeRNG | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | Relder | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gurkha | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | bmeow | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Relder | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | UrFlyin | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | JakeRNG | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gurkha | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | bmeow | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Relder | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Girthquake | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | UrFlyin | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fedora the Explorer | +4.48 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | bmeow | +1.45 | 45 | 59 |
| #3 | Girthquake | -0.79 | 31 | 30 |
| #4 | Gurkha | -1.48 | 33 | 40 |
| #5 | Relder | -3.58 | 18 | 40 |





