








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1955 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 5328 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4446 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,761 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jayrad | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | Fedora the Explorer | 50% | 94 |
| #3 | UrFlyin | 48% | 204 |
| #4 | JakeRNG | 45% | 88 |
| #5 | bmeow | 45% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | PlatonicG00N | 44% | 188 |
| #7 | Girthquake | 42% | 327 |
| #8 | Relder | 40% | 115 |
| #9 | Taco1013 | 31% | 54 |
| #10 | HonorZeBaumer | 30% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmeow | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Girthquake | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fedora the Explorer | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | UrFlyin | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | PlatonicG00N | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bmeow | 395 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Girthquake | 303 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | Relder | 249 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | UrFlyin | 179 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | jayrad | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jayrad | +5.84 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | Fedora the Explorer | +5.29 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | bmeow | +2.45 | 48 | 59 |
| #4 | Taco1013 | +2.21 | 41 | 45 |
| #5 | Girthquake | -0.28 | 34 | 34 |





