








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3716 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3195 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3334 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2326 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,502 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi | 90% | 30 |
| #2 | furrypotter | 81% | 37 |
| #3 | paranoia | 76% | 33 |
| #4 | Real | 72% | 68 |
| #5 | precog` | 72% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Real | 72% | 68 |
| #5 | precog` | 72% | 46 |
| #6 | BluFF | 68% | 63 |
| #7 | tsR_ | 68% | 25 |
| #8 | Danny | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danny | 6 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Real | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | furrypotter | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | paranoia | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | tsR_ | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 466 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | BluFF | 327 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | precog` | 148 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | tsR_ | 114 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Danny | 98 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeChu | +4.93 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | Kiwi | +3.14 | 93 | 64 |
| #3 | BluFF | +2.06 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Real | +0.92 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | precog` | +0.73 | 52 | 69 |





