








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5121 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4810 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5065 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4142 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,749,475 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maderfkr | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | jEMi | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | Meland | 56% | 102 |
| #4 | Nyah! | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | EnerN xd | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jEMi | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | Meland | 56% | 102 |
| #4 | Nyah! | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | EnerN xd | 48% | 62 |
| #6 | jjjj_jjjj | 48% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meland | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | jjjj_jjjj | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | EnerN xd | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | maderfkr | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | jEMi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jEMi | 233 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | jjjj_jjjj | 201 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Meland | 98 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | maderfkr | 72 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nyah! | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maderfkr | +3.33 | 83 | 58 |
| #2 | jEMi | +3.30 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | Meland | +2.33 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | dravenzki | +0.31 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | Nyah! | -0.48 | 64 | 66 |





