








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 635 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 137 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16324 | 30% |
| Smokes | 16727 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8390 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 13441 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,011,742 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 863 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 61% | 202 |
| #2 | Billy | 60% | 83 |
| #3 | 2P | 58% | 104 |
| #4 | Antheft | 57% | 382 |
| #5 | Nalos | 55% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 51% | 163 |
| #10 | F-12 Targeting Computer | 51% | 73 |
| #11 | DLOTZ | 50% | 400 |
| #12 | RaiCorvus | 49% | 65 |
| #13 | PongoPeach | 45% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 31 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Antheft | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Juliet♡ | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | DLOTZ | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Billy | 12 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DLOTZ | 1251 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #2 | Antheft | 719 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | THEConterstrkr500lbWARRIORs0mple | 632 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Rice | 616 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | 2P | 313 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seilliG | +3.11 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | 2P | +2.28 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | sweetish | +1.12 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | Billy | +0.56 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Rice | +0.38 | 75 | 61 |





