








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 175 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 254 | 14% |
| Smokes | 147 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 842 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,439 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨قوست | 34 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Lelush✨ | 23 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Tazzmaster | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | ايتاتشي | 17 | 0.0207 |
| #5 | 702.🥀 | 15 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lelush✨ | 419 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | 702.🥀 | 385 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✨قوست | 353 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tazzmaster | 340 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | doom | 198 | 0.09 | 4 min |





