










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 44 | 3% |
| Smokes | 328 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 568 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 616 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,145 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zanda ツ | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | BettaBuild | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | L0RD | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | Wardie | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | mr wok | 58% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dony Kangs | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Balnia | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | < blank > | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Nils | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Jezza | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr wok | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | L0RD | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Wardie | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Balnia | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | < blank > | 1 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr wok | 163 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | L0RD | 107 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Balnia | 65 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wardie | 59 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | BettaBuild | 25 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balnia | +3.17 | 71 | 82 |
| #2 | L0RD | +3.17 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Nils | +2.38 | 72 | 26 |
| #4 | BettaBuild | +1.23 | 82 | 51 |
| #5 | mr wok | +0.53 | 63 | 66 |





