








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1019 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 560 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 132 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9375 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8024 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7187 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7495 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,913 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2690 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wardie | 56% | 152 |
| #2 | Nils | 55% | 153 |
| #3 | BettaBuild | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | mr wok | 49% | 320 |
| #5 | < blank > | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wardie | 56% | 152 |
| #2 | Nils | 55% | 153 |
| #3 | BettaBuild | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | mr wok | 49% | 320 |
| #5 | < blank > | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr wok | 26 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Wardie | 19 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Nils | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | < blank > | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | BettaBuild | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr wok | 1373 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #2 | Wardie | 342 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | < blank > | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nils | 109 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | BettaBuild | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nils | +1.98 | 74 | 31 |
| #2 | L0RD | +1.50 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | BettaBuild | +0.91 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | < blank > | +0.57 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | mr wok | +0.05 | 63 | 63 |





