








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4431 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3449 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3468 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,686,606 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Appa | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | Mr_Manime.TV | 69% | 48 |
| #3 | thiS | 68% | 66 |
| #4 | discoRyne | 63% | 107 |
| #5 | dasmako | 61% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discoRyne | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | LoafCat | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Salamander | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Freeman. | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | echo_^ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salamander | 2316 | 0.31 | 69 min |
| #2 | Freeman. | 795 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | LoafCat | 771 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | discoRyne | 706 | 0.30 | 19 min |
| #5 | dasmako | 334 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | +2.71 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | dasmako | +1.55 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | thiS | +1.37 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | echo_^ | +1.10 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | discoRyne | +0.58 | 67 | 83 |





