








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 92 | 16% |
| Smokes | 173 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 124 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,103 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyper | 32% | 22 |
| #2 | lore accurate wealthy white man | 29% | 24 |
| #3 | Fake Butter | 27% | 15 |
| #4 | AZERØN | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | BR8RG | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | lore accurate wealthy white man | 29% | 24 |
| #3 | Fake Butter | 27% | 15 |
| #4 | AZERØN | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | BR8RG | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | _L00N3Y_ | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lore accurate wealthy white man | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lore accurate wealthy white man | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #2 | Fake Butter | 23 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Hyper | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | _L00N3Y_ | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lore accurate wealthy white man | +3.18 | 70 | 46 |
| #2 | BR8RG | +1.07 | 36 | 23 |
| #3 | Hyper | -1.41 | 25 | 45 |
| #4 | Fake Butter | -2.49 | 50 | 36 |
| #5 | Jork the mind, not the peanits | -3.91 | 21 | 36 |





