








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Esplay | 24 matches | 1,669 | |
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4039 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5106 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4613 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3940 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,150 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eZy | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | Slack | 50% | 119 |
| #3 | Opaaaa | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Vulture | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | elaren | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TuffaUffe © | 45% | 73 |
| #8 | levekampen | 44% | 128 |
| #9 | БroКЕДndHungry | 43% | 98 |
| #10 | AnderviQ | 43% | 101 |
| #11 | ✫ GaDDe ✫ | 38% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuffaUffe © | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | elaren | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | levekampen | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | eZy | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | ✫ GaDDe ✫ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnderviQ | 362 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✫ GaDDe ✫ | 205 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | elaren | 194 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | БroКЕДndHungry | 170 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | levekampen | 158 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elaren | +1.96 | 59 | 65 |
| #2 | Opaaaa | +1.27 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | G-Unit | +0.87 | 50 | 67 |
| #4 | AffiKadafii | +0.87 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | eZy | +0.85 | 68 | 41 |





