








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 838 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5487 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4700 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3210 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,913,349 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slack | 51% | 219 |
| #2 | Vulture | 50% | 103 |
| #3 | AffiKadafii | 50% | 157 |
| #4 | Opaaaa | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | TuffaUffe © | 49% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ✫ GaDDe ✫ | 48% | 157 |
| #8 | БroКЕДndHungry | 47% | 94 |
| #9 | AnderviQ | 45% | 91 |
| #10 | levekampen | 42% | 137 |
| #11 | Freddiet | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuffaUffe © | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | G-Unit | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | AffiKadafii | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Slack | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | ✫ GaDDe ✫ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-Unit | 382 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | AnderviQ | 331 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Slack | 274 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | TuffaUffe © | 261 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✫ GaDDe ✫ | 218 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elaren | +1.62 | 60 | 63 |
| #2 | AffiKadafii | +1.09 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Opaaaa | +0.97 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | TuffaUffe © | +0.49 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Freddiet | +0.30 | 75 | 50 |





