








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 581 | 33% |
| Smokes | 436 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,260 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | PLixX | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | NO BR41N | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | Eggaaart | 0% | 2 |
| #12 | d0xN | 0% | 3 |
| #13 | mulde | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knight11 | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Eggaaart | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | negative Newlix | 103 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Knight11 | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Loidman | 38 | 0.56 | 1 min |
| #4 | πΏππ_πΊππ γ | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | c0refreAk | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |





