








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2317 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1828 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1621 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,210 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ MaPhiMi | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | πΏππ_πΊππ γ | 57% | 87 |
| #3 | kanji | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Zer0 | 46% | 95 |
| #5 | elvira | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kanji | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Zer0 | 46% | 95 |
| #5 | elvira | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Knight11 | 41% | 71 |
| #7 | Brockenmann. | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | kanji | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Knight11 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | elvira | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | βͺ MaPhiMi | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanji | 244 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #2 | βͺ MaPhiMi | 216 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Knight11 | 163 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | πΏππ_πΊππ γ | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zer0 | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zer0 | +1.74 | 72 | 44 |
| #2 | βͺ MaPhiMi | +1.56 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | negative Newlix | +1.34 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | kanji | +0.47 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | Brockenmann. | -0.86 | 53 | 63 |





