








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 43 | 4% |
| Smokes | 385 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 485 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 280 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,079 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enew | 49% | 85 |
| #2 | Sped | 45% | 105 |
| #3 | Ithereal21 | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | Brett Smith | 44% | 91 |
| #5 | Chris Tucker | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enew | 49% | 85 |
| #2 | Sped | 45% | 105 |
| #3 | Ithereal21 | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | Brett Smith | 44% | 91 |
| #5 | Chris Tucker | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sped | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Brett Smith | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Chris Tucker | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Enew | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett Smith | 254 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Enew | 251 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sped | 229 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chris Tucker | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ithereal21 | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett Smith | +2.65 | 65 | 57 |
| #2 | Enew | +0.18 | 45 | 57 |
| #3 | Mr Pussy Lips | -0.43 | 59 | 30 |
| #4 | Sped | -1.34 | 40 | 50 |
| #5 | Chris Tucker | -3.04 | 48 | 54 |





