








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1276 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 268 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,207 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enew | 51% | 151 |
| #2 | Sped | 48% | 197 |
| #3 | Ithereal21 | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | Chris Tucker | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | Mr Pussy Lips | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enew | 51% | 151 |
| #2 | Sped | 48% | 197 |
| #3 | Ithereal21 | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | Chris Tucker | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | Mr Pussy Lips | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sped | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Mr Pussy Lips | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Chris Tucker | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Enew | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enew | 439 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sped | 426 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Chris Tucker | 239 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ithereal21 | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr Pussy Lips | 14 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett Smith | +2.38 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | Enew | +0.51 | 46 | 56 |
| #3 | Mr Pussy Lips | -0.59 | 56 | 31 |
| #4 | Sped | -1.38 | 38 | 47 |
| #5 | Chris Tucker | -1.97 | 51 | 53 |





