








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3761 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4001 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4626 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3841 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,915,328 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | milshaje | 52% | 324 |
| #7 | FryingPan8 | 51% | 171 |
| #8 | fyi | 51% | 103 |
| #9 | Chunky Milk | 46% | 144 |
| #10 | mrcat2000 | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuKu Pachu | 40 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | froggers | 23 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Chunky Milk | 21 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | FryingPan8 | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | milshaje | 14 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milshaje | 1905 | 0.28 | 57 min |
| #2 | froggers | 697 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | KuKu Pachu | 567 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Chunky Milk | 509 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | FryingPan8 | 297 | 0.08 | 6 min |





