








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 608 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 336 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1065 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,662 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Franklin | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Lone.Zatoichi | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Arch3r | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | The Wizard | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Volc | 1 | 0.0015 |





